I'll be there for you

I must start this blog with a trigger warning.  It talks about death and life plans.

This month, I had one of the hardest days of my life.  I had to say goodbye to my oldest and best friend Craig.

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We met 45 years ago (he was six months younger than me) and have been lifelong friends since.  We grew up together in a little village just outside Sheffield; we lived up the road from each other; we went to school together; and we worked at McDonald's together.  He was also the Best Man at my (first) wedding.

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MY BEST FRIEND

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In May 2025, Craig went to bed and had a seizure in the night; he was then diagnosed with a double brain tumour.  In September 2025, he had surgery: one tumour was removed but the other was inoperable.  He then had a stroke.  

Craig spent the last 10-or-so months learning to walk and talk all over again.  In fact, I joined him up north for a charity walk in aid of the medical teams that looked after him.

All of this was unexpected.  Craig was a big, strong guy, and there was no real warning of medical issues or complications.

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The funeral was in Yorkshire, just outside Huddersfield.  I had the absolute honour of being one of the pallbearers.  I don't think anyone 'likes' funerals but the day was really hard, though I knew I had to be a part of it.

Craig leaves behind two lovely kids and his wonderful wife.  I went to their wedding and, in June this year, they celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.

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I’ll miss you, Craig.  Rest easy, my friend.

IT’S ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE
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You might be wondering ‘what is the point of this blog?’

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It's all about perspective.  It's about the fact that we all have different challenges, and we never know what someone else is going through.

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Days like the funeral make me ask the question "is it really that bad?" whether it's about a leaky shower, the car not starting, an email not replied to, or the dog chewing my favourite slippers.

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I think we are all guilty of wasting energy on those things that, in the moment, seem bad, but in the grand scheme, they are never that bad.

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Sometimes we all just need to take a moment to get a little perspective, and this applies in every aspect of our lives.

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A TIME FOR REFLECTION

I appreciate that it’s a tenuous link to go from my best friend’s funeral to what this can teach employers about running a business, but I think it’s an important point from a HR perspective.

My wife and I recently went on holiday with some friends, one of whom also had the passing of a close family member before we went away (I won’t go into details out of respect for them and their family).

The holiday seemed to be some much-needed respite, and a time for reflection.

This is something all employers should think about.  These moments of reflection aren’t fleeting, and the passing of a loved one takes more than a couple of days of compassionate leave to think about.

This is why I always say that your people are your biggest asset, and you should be treating them as individuals.

Sure, you need policies, procedures, handbooks, and contracts – but really getting to know your team creates two-way positivity, and goes way beyond a quarterly performance review.

Your team feel listened to which makes them happy, and often this leads to increased productivity and a positive workplace culture.

SWITCHING OFF

One of the hardest things for a business owner to do is switch off.  I have a brilliant team and a brilliant range of retained clients. However, I never really stop worrying about the business.

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I went on holiday and I can confirm that the world didn’t fall in.

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I removed my emails from my phone, but I had my laptop with me just in case. Thankfully, I didn’t need to open it at all (and my team kept in touch via WhatsApp if they needed to tell me something). This meant that I didn’t have to be 'on' as much.

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Talking about my holiday might seem a little self-indulgent, but it's taken along time to get to this point of being able to switch off and really take sometime away - something I recommend for all business owners and employers.

GOOD FOR EVERYONE

The title of this is ‘I’ll be there for you’ which is the title song of one of the greatest television sitcoms ever – Friends.  This blog is about my best friend and how we’ve always been there for each other; but also, how this relates to the workplace.

As a HR consultant and an employer, I am a big advocate of being there for your team and treating them as individuals; but I also think that we need to lead from the front.

When I take holidays (and talk about them), the purpose is to rest and recuperate.  I trust my team implicitly to hold down the fort while allowing me time for myself.   Recently, they were there for me not only when I was on holiday, but when I needed to be up north – both to see my best friend and, later, attend the funeral.

In turn, this means that, when I am back at work, I am focused on the job at hand (that is, being there for our retained clients and being there for my team).

DO YOU NEED HR SUPPORT?

If you need any support in improving your workplace culture, or growing a team of trusted individuals, please get in touch for an informal chat about me and the AJB HR Consultancy Services team can help you and your business.

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